number 228

i don't think i've ever had a day quite like today...

number 227

i find it interesting he knows something is bothering me and i'm not acting all that different.

plus he hasn't asked me 20 questions...i think he's learning

number 226

i guess that's why yesterday seemed so bad...

number 225

i guess that's why yesterday seemed so bad...

number 224

everytime i read something about inferiority complex, i get more and more frustrated.

number 223

i remember them yelling at me about how i raise my voice so easily and try to talk down to them.

honestly, i know why i do it, i just don't want to say it because they'll give me a long talk again.

number 222

i've been asked why i celebrate christmas if i don't believe in the religious side of the holiday.

i've had people immediately assume i celebrate it for the presents, just like any selfish, child ish brat would.

and as cheesey and unlike me this may sound, i really like the holiday for family together ness.
not only in my family, but amongst people i would consider close enough to me to be called my family...

number 221

i have realized i make no sence.

i constantly say i want people's trust and so on, but really i don't trust myself
so why should i assume others will trust me
if i don't even trust myself?

number 220

for some reason it feels like more than one of the people i truely was incredibly attached to, doesn't care anymore...
i don't think i should feel like she's stabbing me in the back everytime she runs to comfort you, but you probably need her help more than i do...

number 219

too attatched too soon?

possibly.

will i change that?

not likely.

setting myself up to get hurt again?

more than likely.

number 218

yea, sometimes i do wonder who i'm yelling at too.
perhaps i'm just becoming what i always hated.
but whatelse is fucking new?

number 217

news flash: no one is fucking perfect.
you don't have to state that you're not.
all it does is remind everyone else that they're not either.

number 216

sometimes i really wonder...

number 215

maybe if i didn't make out with her in public, people wouldn't stare? try only seeing said person in public. things will enevitably happen, people will stare, and it's not only making out, even holding her hand, people stare at us.

number 214

i honestly wish there were either
more guys like roy and bobby in the world,
or no guys in the world except guys like roy and bobby.

number 213

i hate sharing. i really do.

number 212

reason 2 why i wish i were born a guy: other guys wouldn't be trying to convince my girlfriend that i should share her with them.

number 211

reason one why i wish i were born a guy: i wouldn't have random guys staring at me and my girlfriend when i make out with her.

number 210

it's turning out to be one of those nights that make me wish i were dead.

number 209

i still listen to that cd

number 208

i hate when i help tech a show and there are people who have their own individual group that's them and they just sit and bullshit the whole time.

it hurts the trust and respect i have for them, which makes it hard for me to work with them.

number 207

i'm sorry for loosing it with you like i have been, i just hate seeing you like that and knowing i can't do anything to make you better.

number 206

whenever someone massages my shoulders and neck, they always tell me i'm stressed because i have a knot on either shoulder.

number 205

i can feel my body slowly shutting down it feels like.

i'm too exhausted to do anything.

number 204

i wanted to a make a point of telling the actors i know better, "break a leg" right before their show.

number 203

hormones are demonic little devils.

number 202

that one line always makes me stop and feel bad.

number 201

i hate how he always makes me feel interrogated.

number 200

i'm really close to giving them the letter.

number 199

i may be able to be tamed
to be trained
to be taught


but i am, by no fucking means, someone's pet, toy, or fad.

i'm used enough as it is, i'm not letting someone younger than me by more than a year think she can use me too.


prejudging? yea, i just might be doing that, but i observe enough to catch on from what others say, rather than trusting her.

number 198

i wish the style of clothes i like, went with the style i like.



is it so hard to ask for a hoodie just how i like it?



maybe i'm just too picky...

number 197

for the first time in a while, i thought of you...a lot.

of course i wasn't thinking of you in a platonic sense, at least i'm pretty sure it wasn't platonic feelings i suddenly felt. all i know is it inspired me to think of it all from your point of view.

to think up a character just like me, and to tell it from someone else's point of view...it scared me honestly...

number 196

people both sicken and excite me.

number 195

it's quite rare, but i find myself getting that itch. that one that tells me, compells me, to act. yes, i greatly enjoy tech, but for some reason i want to be the one on stage right now...

number 194

when i'm tired i seem to talk and never hear what i say.

number 193

you asked before, if i even try to catch the bus. my answer being no because i like getting a ride in to school with you. it's like our time. it's like my time to feel comfortable and relaxed. i feel like there is nothing to worry about for a while...