number 266

i hate being female when i feel like this.

number 265

finally, one of those times comes around when the logically part of my mind is a help instead of a waste of time and space.

number 264

a song on my lips
a rhythm to my step
and a girl burned into my mind


well, i'm screwed, aren't i?

number 263

sometimes i'm really afraid i'm not what you want...


...or what you need

number 262

women frustrate me almost as much as men do.

number 261

why is it that i feel like you still want me to change back to that pretty little pink love princess i was when i was 5?

grow up. i'm not changing anymore.

number 260

timid, shy people, will always be my weakness.


they will be the death of me...i know it...

number 259

i am losing count of how many times i have had to roll over and let people see why i ended it.



people just fucking disgust me.

number 258

i hate when i get stuck in between a rock and a hard place within myself.

desire for theatre and desire for her.

number 257

i love kelly.

it really is something to me when someone recognizes my efforts. especially when it comes to acting. i mean, for them to say they're proud, really makes me smile.

yes shelby, it's the same when you said i did well. it's only different because she actually said she knows i don't get recognition i "deserve"

it's like, from being in drama exposed, we've gotten it beat into our heads that baker never notices what an actor does. they never get recognized for hardwork if they don't do acting all the time...

maybe that's just my envious side talking though.

number 256

sleeping in unfamiliar areas, or around unfamiliar people, has always bothered me.

how i fell asleep at her house, is not a question i ask myself; instead, i ask why it took me so long to finally allow myself to sleep?

number 255

i forgot that compromise is something i see as important as i do.

number 254

"why do you keep saying me? do you need to tell me something?"

no, not at all.
ever wonder why i refer to my exes, or people i've been close to when i dated you?
they were familiar, something i knew.

you, my dear, are no different, except for the fact i have been a lot closer to you in a different way that i was with the rest, thus i refer to you more.

sorry if i worried you.

number 253

happy one day, bothered the next, up one time, down in a second.


sure, this rollercoaster makes my stomach do flips and my heart to beat so fast that my breathing can't imagine to keep up...


but honestly, i love that finally, i feel balanced. not stuck in the extreams anymore.


it's been a while...

number 252

why is tech almost always neglected?

i have always wondered...

number 251

i am an adreanaline whore.

being up on stage, roller coasters, driving...all of that stuff i love.


if i love it though, why do i fear them sometimes?

number 250

you have me captive in every way except physically.


now i've come to the point where i will follow you to the ends no matter what mood you happen to be in.

now is when i would roll over and only ask to be kept in your room forever so i may see you every night and hold you close.

now is the time you take me and keep me to yourself, and whenever you want me, i'm right there, waiting with anxious eyes that just want to look into your's...

number 249

i don't think i have ever begged like that since freshman year...or maybe even 8th grade...

number 248

thinking back to 8th grade, i remember writing something and that object became something i fear more than fear itself. i've found it still is the thing that scares me to this day...

number 247

sometimes, i really hate knowing i have so much in common with him.

number 246

i hate jumping up and asking people what's wrong and so on. i hate making them feel even more smothered by people jumping up to their attention. i like sitting back and letting them come to me if they want to.

sometimes i wonder if they think i don't care because i do that and whatnot...

number 245

sometimes i really wonder if i look thinner whenever someone says something.

number 244

what i'd do to be with you every night.


honestly, too much is on my mind when i try to sleep and you're not around...

number 243

i don't wanna be like him, but i don't want you to leave.

i don't want to hurt you...

number 242

i wish i could give you my persistance and wish it would help you more than it ever helped me.


i want you to be happy...so fucking bad.



i feel like everything i do still hurts...no matter how hard i try.

number 241

it makes me sick watching her.


makes me wish i never came around and jumped into peoples' lives like she's doing...

like i always did.

number 240

i'm mad you stood there in between her and myself.
i'm mad it felt like you were testing her.
i'll fucking flip out if it bothered her.

number 239

i'm suprised she said something on a friend ish level...i thought she totally forgot who i was...


and would have glared at me for walking with dominique.

number 238

why do i feel like they hate me?

number 237

i'm still trying...i'm sorry for anything i might have done again...

number 236

i hate feeling so dependant all the time,


but damn do i love feeling relaxed for once.

number 235

maybe it's bad for me to say this, but i'm really proud of you...

number 234

this is absolutely inconvient.

i'm absolutely and honestly happy in my life when my character is grieving because she believes her husband is dead.

fuck i feel no where near ready for this one act.

number 233

i feel like my writing is slowly becoming shit.

number 232

everyone has been saying i'm so patient now.


i honestly have you to thank for that.

number 231

i swear, everytime niki says something like that, i cry because it always feels like she's forgotten about me until she says something to that extent to me. i feel so loved whenever she does say something...

number 230

my stomach is in knots all the time now.

it makes me feel sick all the time.

number 229

i wonder if it's bad that i cry everytime i watch that video.