number 428

"i figured i made you wait long enough.

wouldn't you agree?"

part says yes, part says no, and part just doesn't give a damn, as long as i can have you back...

number 427

"you get distracted easily"

i do...i really do.


if i think someone isn't interested i let myself get distracted...

number 426

i waited this long, i can wait until she's better...i know it


not like many other people have really been catching my attention


not like i really want anyone other than her...

number 425

i swear, april is my bad luck month

number 424

i want you happy...whatever it takes...

number 423

yea, know that hurt...just know that.

number 422

when i feel uncomfortable, i get defensive, that leads to me being pissy, which makes me irrational, thus i say things i really shouldn't...

number 421

then it hits me, you honestly don't give a shit, do you?

number 420

i'm still tired and i wen to bed early and woke up late...


i'm not liking this

number 419

why do guys think it's ok to call me names like that?


makes me feel like a pet or something when they do it...why do i always get that feeling from guys?

number 418

sleep sounds like a good idea i guess...

number 417

have you caught on to how your moods rub off on me?

number 416

note to self:

when going to bed, always fall asleep under a blanket with minimal clothing on, or there will be hell to pay in the morning.

number 415

note to self:
when i rule the world, eliminate all people of the male gender who think

"i have a girlfriend" means "sure, let's make it a threesome"

number 414

i swear, my mom has gaydar...

and she can tell by how i say someone's name, if i like them or if they're gay...


it's weird.

number 413

i'm beginning to leave things open for only her to see, simply because she's been keeping me sane lately.

number 412

i feel like sleeping, but i'm honestly too irritated to sleep...

number 411

this is exactly why long distance relationships will never work for me.

number 410

if i really do look for people who remind me of my parents...i must say, some of my failed relationships really make sense to me now.


and some of my harsher ones make a hell of a lot more sense now...

number 409

knowing she was home sent chills down my spine, a smile to my face, and a sudden throbbing in my chest that caught even me off guard...


it was a very awkward feeling

number 408

today was day of silence...


maybe i'm the only one who finds it hilarious, but today i talked more than i have all week really...

number 407

regrets:


will i regret rolling over for her like i have?
probably.

do i honestly care?
nope.

number 406

if my hair were always this color, i'd actually like my hair more.

number 405

"raccooooooon!"

"yes my love?"

"<3"

why does that make my heart stutter?

number 404

i'm being selfish, i don't wanna be selfish, but dammit, i want you.

number 403

that was the first time in about a year that cried myself to sleep like that.

number 402

it's always going to be my fault...even though i'm never the one to do anything.

number 401

it's annoying how bad i want to stand out in at least one person's eyes.

number 400

i actually find it interesting how i just knew rationalizing things for her would help her calm down.


usually, my first tactic is the wrong one.

number 399

part of me is glad she's in florida for a week, it'll make me give her the space she wants.


but of course, deep down, i wish she were still here, so, so bad...

number 398

lately, people have just been supreamly annoying...

number 397

"christieeeeee" *hugs from behind*

*makes face* "hey you, get off." *shrugs and pulls away*

yea...i kinda shocked myself with that...i actually sounded stern for once...

number 396

i keep wondering why it is my writing is so bad nowadays.

number 395

it kinda hurts whenever she says she's so happy to be getting out of virginia for break, but it'll make me give her space i guess so it's good...


it's going to be nothing like christmas break so i'll be going even more insane...

number 394

christie in drama exposed:

nightmare on sundevil drive: alice/the gamer

use it or lose it: sound

a working carol: lights

ed opus: sound

body systems: sound

macbeth in short: ______ [tech]

mathaholics anonymous: _______ [acting]

if it goes my way, then it better be exactly like that.


and next year if i'm in drama exposed, it'll be the exact opposite.

number 393

sometimes i start to say something then stop because i know saying whatever i was going to say would bother her, then i think i shouldn't say it.
but if i don't say it she gets irritated because i won't finish my thought; i get irritated with myself because then she might think i'm keeping things from her.

in the end, i just need to think about what i'm about to say more before i say it...

number 392

i've burned my ears with my straightener probably 20 times total in the past 2 years, 15 of those times have been recent.

number 391

if it's possible, i'm pretty sure i raise my body temperature for a short period of time, whenever i straighten my hair.

number 390

safe.


so so safe.


honestly, i slept a little better last night...

number 389

i may be restating this, but i do things that normally calm other people [massaging and ect] mainly to calm myself.

the most logical way i can explain it is, i have to focus on calming them which, as a result, calms me.

number 388

" 'i really don't want to leave...'

interesting hearing me say that when i'm not trying to put my clothes back on, eh?"

well ain't that the truth.

number 387

i've never felt like this...this secure...this safe feeling i felt in her room...i can honestly say i've never felt before...

number 386

number 385, reminds me, i can't believe how i'm even starting to get jealous of my own ex for being close with her...it's annoying for me to think about.

number 385

i'm not liking how my jealousy can't keeps itself underwraps anymore.

number 384

"is it worth it? is she going to be worth all the changing?"


even when i was asked that weeks ago, i knew the answer was yes.


for your information, she'll always be worth it...

number 383

it's almost pathetic how much i think about her.

number 382

i wish i never had to sleep. it'd make everything so much better.

number 381

definition of christie rose lindsey: n. a flamboyant lesbian who loves technical theatre and acting; is intensely depressing, too flirtatious for her own good, is an over controlling mess a lot of the time, tends to wear her heart on her sleeve; can be a liar and a clingy whore.

number 380

"yea, so _____ tried to unhook my bra for like the first 10 or 15 minutes of class."

that struck a nerve deep down for some reason.

i wonder, is this what it was like whenever you heard about lyma pawing at me?

number 379

"it's hot"

not that it was hot, just the fact that it's warmer than it has been lately. humid.


i love the warm weather. i really do. i just hate how it makes me feel the need to eat more.

number 378

i'm not getting more and more ignorant, i'm growing more and more snippy about it. it's to the point that i hold my head higher an act as though it's nothing, as if anything that's said by them doesn't mean anything.

maybe it's from having her to my right...

number 377

"if it's that big of a deal, i'll give you mine"


honestly, that caught me off guard.

number 376

lately i've been more sleep deprived than i was during the shows


at least it feels that way

number 375

i sleep without her jacket and find myself unable to sleep well because something is missing

so i sleep with her jacket and i can't sleep because i can smell her, but i can't find her


this is so unfortunate.