Sunday, July 27, 2008

number 47

all of my psychs have told me time and time again that there is something wrong with me. that i feel i can only be happy if others are, and that's bad for me and my happiness.

as devon has told me, probably a thousand times, i am in control of my own happiness; but i keep thinking i can't truely be happy until everyone around me is absolutely happy, thus bringing my happiness down.

sometimes i wish i could really change that. it's the root of all reasons why people drop me in a second's notice or pull away from me so much, but i'm afraid that if that one thing changes, something else will change that i don't want to loose.

1 comment:

  1. after this entry, you posted one about liking control. now, i'm telling you, you are in control of yourself. no one else can influence you as much as you can. if there's sometihng you want to change, then you can. if there's something that you don't want to change, then focus on that. if you don't want it to change, it won't.

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